The Silence Between Words: A Girl’s Journey from Fear to Voice Through Horses

When children arrive at Speaking of Horses, some come carrying a quiet vulnerability—an unspoken story that’s hard to put into words. I’ll never forget a young girl with selective mutism who came to us full of hesitation, unable to say a single word. She looked at the horses but kept her distance, never touching them, simply observing silently. You could feel her quiet strength beneath her calm exterior, but her fears and uncertainty still held her tightly.

One day, I asked her if she wanted to brush Whinny, a gentle, saintly pony. She shook her head softly and kept her eyes on the horses. I took a moment to explain how horses communicate without words: they move their ears to show their feelings—happy, alert, mad, or relaxed—and their noses and mouths to express emotions. A wrinkled nose might mean anger, while droopy lips can show sleepiness. When the whites of their eyes are visible, they’re often scared.

Then, I gently turned to her and asked, “If you were a horse, how would you look today?” She hesitated but then softly replied, “Big eyes.” She was afraid, just as her wide-eyed gaze had shown. I recognized in that quiet response her inner struggle—her fears were genuine, but she also understood deeply how horses communicate.

Over the weeks, she continued to come to the farm. Each time, I’d ask her again, “If you were a horse, how would you look today?” Slowly, her responses changed. Her big eyes turned into relaxed ears and a calm, happy face. She started to touch the horses and even rode Whinny, gradually building trust and confidence.

As her confidence grew, she learned something incredible: that her feelings and her words really did matter. She discovered that the way she felt inside could be reflected outwardly—just like the horses. She realized that her body and her emotions could communicate as clearly as words, and in doing so, she began to find her voice.

The most remarkable transformation was yet to come. The girl who once whispered could now clearly demand things—with a firm, strong voice—she could tell her horse to stop or go with confidence. Her voice shone brightly in any environment because she understood that she mattered. She wasn’t afraid anymore to express herself, knowing her feelings and her words were valid. She began speaking with strength and clarity, a chattering, joyful girl who knew she could be heard.

Her journey through connection with the horses taught her more than just body language or words; it revealed her own inner strength. Through her work with the horses, she learned how to express her feelings, set boundaries, and advocate for herself. She found that being loud or demanding was okay—that the world would respond when she did. And most importantly, she understood that her voice mattered.

At Speaking of Horses, we believe that sometimes, words aren’t the only way to communicate. Horses teach children to listen to their bodies, to understand emotions, and to trust that their feelings are valid. Her story is a testament to how horses can help turn fear into confidence, silence into speech, and uncertainty into self-assurance.

We rely heavily on generous donors to keep this vital program accessible to the children who need it most. Most of our kids come from families below the poverty line, and we accept Medicaid and other insurances to make sure this healing work is affordable.

As the founder and executive director of Speaking of Horses, I personally make significant donations and work an additional job to fund this mission, but I can’t do it alone. Your support is crucial. With your help, children like her will continue to find their voices, see their feelings reflected in their horses, and grow into confident, expressive individuals.

Please consider making a donation today. Together, we can keep this life-changing work alive so every child who walks through our gates can discover—and most importantly, believe in—their own power to be heard.

Help us keep these stories of courage, trust, and transformation going. Because every child deserves to be heard.